We realize not all of you are as familiar as we are with the attractiveness that the National Football League has to offer. For your convenience, please view from left to right and the numbers will correspond:
1. Pierre Garcon, Wide Receiver, Indianapolis Colts: This is the newest member of the greatest team in the NFL. He's repping for our Haitian brothers and sisters in their time of need right now and he makes touchdowns on the regs. Loves him.
2. Ryan Clark, Safety, Pittsburgh Steelers: We must admit that we are not incredibly familiar with Ryan Clark, but he's got a fine ass.
3. Mike Tomlin (Epps), Head Coach, Pittsburgh Steelers: This man is on this list for Angeline. She loves him and thinks he's new hottness. We do not disagree with this, thus, his appearance on our list.
4. Reggie Bush, Running Back, New Orleans Saints: First of all, he is with a Kardashian, so we like him. Second of all, "BOOM" goes the fuckin' DY-NO-MITE. Third of all, his body is fire.
5. Brady Quinn, Starting Quarterback, Cleveland Browns: How the fuck did we not know about Brady GD Quinn?! This man is scrumptious in more ways than one. We're sorry that you're on the Browns, but when you get traded to a better team because that's what your face deserves... we'll care more.
6. Austin Collie, Wide Receiver, Indianapolis Colts: Not only is he an amazing football player on the best team in the NFL, but TOTAL VAGINA DOMINATION. PtotheS: Have fucking Mercy, Austin Collie's parents! PtothePtotheS: Brooke Pendleton-Collie, your days are numbered.
7. Peyton Manning, Starting Quarterback, Indianapolis Colts: This man is currently happily married to Savanah Cerfoglio. She realizes that he may not be the most attractive on this list, but he is the best fucking football player in the league, has an outstanding personality, a Superbowl ring, a hot older brother, and... not gonna lie... he's good in the sack.
8. Mark Sanchez, Starting Quarterback, New York Jets: We were completely unaware of this fine piece of tail until yesterday's total domination by the Indianapolis Colts. If you're sad because you lost, Mark, please feel free to visit Young Circle. Maybe the hottest player in the NFL? You tell us...
9. Hines Ward, Wide Receiver, Pittsburgh Steelers: He has the cutest face and biggest smile in the NFL. We just think he's a little peach.
10. Jason Taylor, Defensive Lineman, Miami Dolphins: Jason Taylor, why are you playing football and not modeling for Calvin Klein? You missed your calling, stupid.
11. REGGIE WAYNE, Wide Receiver, Indianapolis Colts: His name is in all caps because that's how you're supposed to pronounce it. He is also on this list for the enjoyment of Mrs. Peterson-Sanchez and he's on the greatest team ever.
12. Troy Polamalu, Safety, Pittsburgh Steelers: The hair.
Apparently, if you're attractive and want to play football for a living, you either get drafted by the Steelers or the Colts. Just an observation. Get Familiar.
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